Jonathan’s Journals Session 19 AUGUST19, 1987 With Robert John and Jonathan Back in LA
JONATHAN: Hello Robert!
ROBERT: Good evening, Jonathan!
JONATHAN: I see we are back in the city again!
ROBERT: Oh! Yeah! Due to the wonderful air and adaptable concrete!
JONATHAN: I am glad that you have to breathe it and not me!
ROBERT: Yeah! That is the way it is!
TELEPHONE: RINGING! RINGING!
ROBERT: We will just let it ring, wild man!
JONATHAN: It must be one of your romantic flings!
ROBERT: Maybe it was! Who was fling?
ROBERT: John would like to know, in meditation he saw three cameos, one of a little girl, one of a woman about twenty, and one of an older woman. And he would like to know what this means.
JONATHAN: Give me moment! These women are elements of yourself, they are, they represent past lives of yourself. Let us take them one at a time. The little girl represents a past life in which you have lived that life as a child in a town in and she is representing the part of your life that is to ascertain whether you should develop along the line of being a child. Bring, shall we say, lightened up a little bit more, try to enjoy yourself a little bit more, let it go, trying to be one with oneself, trying to be close to nature, trying to let us say, expound on that, shall we say, the feminine side or the feminine energy of oneself! The woman, the young woman represents another past life of oneself. This has to do with the Dutch connection. In which you were involved in an educational pursuit of expanding one’s intellect and expanding one’s essences and trying to seek the truth. What this represents what you have to seek out yourself. Go into yourself more or try to follow the paths to oneself. Try to examine oneself, try to deal with oneself, try to be with oneself, try to examine and reexamine oneself, find the proper pathways to be in touch with oneself. Now, the third woman represents another past life, an elderly woman who did save you in Spain or were a service to you in Spain or part of the service to you in Spain. In other words what this woman represents is the lifetime of an individual who knew you well and served you well and was ike a mother, more than a mother but more like a grandmother, who help[ed you survive during a period of time where there was turmoil and war. And this woman hid you among the bushes and tried to protect you from the elements were developing because of war and injury. So, what does this woman represent? This woman represents the healing part of you! And this is an area that you have to develop more. Go to yourself and develop those parts of you that need healing and you have several right now that need healing. So, you must try to, let us say generate all the dream energy within thy system, so thy can heal the body as well as heal the soul. You must generate this energy throughout the system that heals this process. And all these three women are with you and as you try to put yourself together, all your elements, all your past lives will be coming together, will be coming one, one with oneself and this is a sign that this process is started. This is a good sign, this is a sign that you are developing in the right direction. So, you must put yourself together and slowly assimilate all these lives into one. Because you are one, you are not disjointed as you have been in the past, and you must show the signs of progress in this area.
ROBERT: John says that he is getting more and more dissatisfied and felt quite bored with the meeting with the Executive Director for the AIDS Program and he wants to know what this means.
JONATHAN: What is happening here as you try to spiritualize assets or spiritual access of your life, other aspects are going to cause the diminishment of the former areas of, let us say potentially unsuitable to you. What is happening is that you are seeing a diminishment more than developing the spiritual assets or spiritual access. Your intellect is getting less involved in those areas of holding back. You say to yourself the intellect does not mean to be in charge anymore. What is happening your body is changing and your soul is changing, and things are getting more and more. And you are going to see that you are going to be disjointed with your former occupation, and this is a sign that this is happening and what we are saying here is your whole essences are changing, your whole vibration is changing as you get more and more together, you will see your work is going to change. And this is a sign that we are making progress in this area. I don’t want to you to be frightened by the lack of work but that will not happen. You will still have your work. Let us say to sustain and though the score of this work may change, the talents that you have accumulated over the years may be quite helpful. And let us say, let’s say, the word that I am trying to think of far od ascertaining that I am not the one that has the potential income or not. But what we are saying really is that here is your work is going to be more spiritual and more valuable that you will be able to have and the spiritual work is going to grow more and more important and the other work will diminish as time goes on.
ROBERT: John sent his resume to a potential employer and John wants to know if this was a wise choice.
JONATHAN: Give me a moment! The potential employer will not hire you! But I think that you were a little worried about your financial situation and you thought that this was an outlet! You’re losing a little faith in us. And I realize that this is a difficult situation and things have not messed the way that they should have and you are getting worried and I just want you to be able to tell yourself not to worry and not to generate negative energy, and I realize that you have bills to pay and are not going to pay your bills and let me say this, that we are aware of the situation and are trying to remedy the situation as well as we can and we have to end the situation very shortly. Just be a little bit more patient with us. And I realize that this s difficult and I wish that I could expedite this in any manner, but I could but I think right now, we ae involved more in the process and the process is developing and you should see some resolution to the situation very shortly. But in the meantime, try not to worry, try not to generate negative energy, leave this and you shouldn’t generate negative energy especially in this area and what we are saying here is just be a little more patient and things will work out!
ROBERT: There is a test?
JONATHAN: There is always a test! That is how you achieve tribulation.
ROBERT: John wants to know in the same vein if he should call Joe Lopez and to do his books and taxes?
JONATHAN: Give me a moment! That may not be necessary but as I have said before if you feel more comfortable in doing so, you can do so. And I realize this thing was given to you by a friend of yours and it may be let us say, a part time situation away, so, if you need to keep busy and this might generate some income for you. Fine! You can go ahead and do it! But as I have told you before in the last area that we ae, let us say, we are taking care of the situation and you will be quite surprised at the resolution because it will be quite beneficial for you and you may not really have the inclination to be occupied in this manner but let just say, if you need that security, you might want to do it for a while and I am not one to discourage one’s achievements and efforts in this area. But I think that it is sort of a waste of time but if you feel more comfortable, I would say go ahead and do it! And try to keep yourself busy and get your mind occupied and then when the time is right and when things start to happen, everything will be settled. And it would be quite good for you!
ROBERT: Do you want more to drink!
JONATHAN: Yes, please!
ROBERT: Would water be ok! Water from the springs where we are at!
JONATHAN: John drank all my tea!
ROBERT: HA! That was great! I will make you a separate cup!
ROBERT: Well, when we were leaving the creek area and on the way back to the car, we met a bull and calf and cow! I was wondering if there was something symbolic meaning to that!
JONATHAN: OK! Is that the question?
ROBERT: Yah!
JONATHAN: Give me a moment! The symbolism, I mean the situation is involving but the symbolism represents several factors, let us say, the cow represents your urges, your frustrations, let us say, your battle between your boyish image and your manly image! Let us say, with your confrontation with your career. The cow represents, let’s go back to the bull, we don’t want the cow yet! The bull represents the situation that you are in. How you are going to have to let us say, being more bullish to overcome the obstacles that you are about encompassing at this time and the protection. Also, the bull represents your desires, the desires of being, having your own cow and calf. The bull represents the symbol of your family! The bull represents the head of the family! The bull represents the desire to get your life together! The desire to meet someone and settling down! The cow represents the need for a relationship! The cow represents the essences of your development! The cow represents the feminine side! The cow represents the need to be on your feminine side! You have to remember that you have your masculine side, and you have your feminine side! The symbol of having both of them together is the symbol of uniting yourself! The calf, the calf represents child energy! The part of you that needs, shall we say, the fun part of you! The lively part of you, the psychic part of you, it is the part that you try to express now! We put them all together and we represent wholeness of oneself! The interconnection of oneself! The being with oneself! Now if we put, my words I am getting tongue tied! My words whatever, you want to call it! Let us say, putting the uhm mm----the whole triangle together which contemplates the wholeness of God. Contemplates the seeing eye of God! Contemplates the Third Eye of God! What we are seeing is a development process, the oneness is there, the oneness is, let us say, becomes connected is the whole. Where the symbolism is showing us the way! Showing us the desire of where to go! And what we are saying here is that this symbolism is telling you that you are perceiving in the right direction. It is giving you a goal to accomplish also the cuffs of the bull. As you know the bull is very protective. The bull is protecting the oneness of the family! The oneness of God! He bull turned and wanted a confrontation which I would not have advised you of not to have done as you would not have survived very well! Maybe you would have survived but in a little battered condition! What I am saying here, the bull represents the strength, fortitude, shall we say the protection, the courage, the ruddiness, the essence of your soul trying to achieve stuff! It has all the qualities, if you notice the bull by its physical tradition represents a true masculine image, the muscles, the strength, all this is encompassing, all this tells you your direction. What we are saying here, first of all we have the completeness or the oneness, then we have the masculine to protect this oneness and by doing this we are attempting to show you your direction, the power that you will need to go into this direction. We are not saying that you have to do this on your own.
We are showing you the way and we ae expecting you to follow that way. But we are providing the help to achieve that way. So, even though we take your ego to push it, you may not realize that we are helping you and you may credit everything to your own self, but we are in turn are helping you. So, what we are saying here is the ego is pushing, the ego has the strength, the ego has the fortitude not only because of oneself, but with the help of those entities within you that are helping. OK! Essentially, this was a sign, this was an omen. This was a goal given to you on such a blessed day. For it has shown you have opened yourself into the energy. And the energy is telling you that this is a sign, this is the place to go. And later on, you will see more about this symbol. This symbol will come into your dreams, and you will evaluate what it says to you in your dreams, or you can get it interpreted here. We don’t charge here, you know! But anyway, the symbol is a very important symbol for you! OK!
ROBERT: It was quite interesting and with the bull first started the protection stuff and I was given good energy, and I said hello and John was surprised that I would be that friendly.
JONATHAN: He was waiting for a confrontation that the whole idea behind it, he needs and expects a confrontation. I think that you need to remember that within your energy, there is a tendency that animals are picking up this energy and are receptive to the energy, they are aware of it. Animals have very keen senses, and they are very psychic in many, many ways. So, he was aware of who you were so being careful otherwise he may have been more aggressive, that is one of the reasons that he backed off.
ROBERT: Well, I noticed that he was a little fem.! I have three questions! In the previous session, you were talking about opening up emotionally, first I have to give to myself, and you said, I give when Cynthia was here that while I am socially charming I am not emotional or something. I wonder if you can explain that about the opening up part.
JONATHAN: Ok! Give me a moment! All right, I would say, let us define a few items here. As a man sometimes you get emotional. Your situation is not what a woman expects. You have to remember the differences. Number one, that’s what we are talking about, a woman has an emotional side which is very strong side, and a man sort of suppresses his emotions. Ok! But deep down inside of you that is a lot of crap because essentially you have similar emotions. It is just a matter of conditioning. And sometimes when you suppress your emotions, you cause to suppress other things besides, you put up all these walls and barriers, and it is hard for you to get in touch with yourself. You may think that you are in touch with your emotions, but you are really not! You don’t understand how you really feel and sometimes the reasons are that you have all these walls inside of you. And the thing that we are talking about is the removal of these walls. Cynthia was really aware of the situation. She picked up on the statement very well because she was very agreeable because of her perception. And that is one of the areas in which she felt that you weren’t enough of you weren’t sharing with her enough emotionally, not socially acceptable of being outwardly. But we are talking how you really feel inside of yourself and she felt that you weren’t feeling enough according to her standards. I am not going to decide that whether it was enough or not, that is something that you have to work out yourself. That is something that you have to do yourself. But what I am saying here is that you need this, this is not only you. She has the same problem, even though she is a woman that is easier to do but really you have to get in touch with your emotions. We are not talking about, shall we say, the readily available emotions. I mean like feeing sad about something and you are going to cry, that is not wat we are talking about, we are talking about feelings, exactly how do you feel OH! Breaking down the barriers, saying this really hurts me! How do I feel about it! I don’t know if I feel that way! It hurts but does it really hurt? So, my pride is a little tarnished a bit, big deal! Or you may say this really gets to me, this really pisses me off! I am really hurt; I feel like that I am five years old and I hurt! Or you might want to say that I would like to have a good cry! I want to get it out of the way, or I want to yell and get it out of my system! There is a punching bag over there, I want to get this aggression out of me! And you may want to do that! The whole point here is not what you do. It is dealing with yourself. Trying to get deep inside of yourself and finding what your situation is and a lot of times you have to let us say eliminate some of the barriers, some of the cobwebs, some of the elements that sort of block your way, some of the debris and here, there is all this, shall we say obstacles that needs to be removed. Now, we are saying to you, there are things. Let me go back a bit, there are things that we know, we need to talk about, and we are saying how we going to eliminate these obstacles and what we are saying to you is go back to the same stuff. Remember we go back to self-knowledge. First of all, you have to find out what your problems are. If you think that you are a very adverse person, or shall we say that you are an adverse person and don’t know that you are an adverse person. The only way that you are going to find out that you are an adverse person is the input that you receive to make this determination and how do you receive this from an external source, and from internal sources. Now we’ll not going to worry about the external stuff, we are just going to worry about the internal stuff. Because if somebody told you that you were adverse you would say you are crazy. But, than after in a few minutes you would say that I wonder if they were right, you would start looking at yourself and start examining yourself and trying to go through your processes of yourself and examining of what you are, but you have a little bit lf adverse but not much. A little bit and you go in and say Yeah! I see that I am that way! Or we could go through the process of causing a problem and that you have and say this is an obstacle for my life! I have to break down these barriers, and I have to break down, shall we say all the debris that has accumulated and sometimes you may pick stuff up and it doesn’t look substantial. But when you remove it, it may be substantial. What we are saying here, evaluate it, as evaluate everything, don’t not evaluate! In other words, examine and don’t submiss stuff! What we saying here is that we have to first of all, we have self-knowledge of ourselves. The problem is where you say that we have this problem. The position is what are we going to do with the problem. We examine the problem and evaluate that program and ok! we say this is my problem, this is my blockage, and you say how do I correct that blockage and these are the steps that I choose to correct this problem! Now, you have to remember that sometimes you have obstacles within you, and they prevent the knowledge from coming about and these obstacles are fabricated by the ego or by socialization or any other process that may be involved there and what we are saying to you here is that processes can be eliminated through meditation, putting white light within your system. Find to reveal the barriers that are there and how do these barriers, how do we reveal then, very easily by doing the meditation and sending white light through the system, trying to reveal all these dark passages, they in turn will be responding to all the parts of yourself, whether it be an impression or a dream or whatever because it is a circle, the more work down there, the more work will be up to the top. So, what happens is we are shedding more and more light on your problem as you get more enlightened. So, we just go back to the same stuff as we are saying all along because it does work and you experience some areas in this aspect and has worked better and why do you think that you are having all these dreams. This is work, right!
ROBERT: Because I don’t have cable TV!
JONATHAN: I’ll hook you up there! Then, why do you experience these things and sometimes when you are supposed to be dealing with something and you don’t deal with it and it will come to you, it will force you to deal with it. The situation is that it can be through external sources or internal sources. There is a lot of work that goes on in the dreams and a lot of stuff that you don’t remember but it is a place where a lot of your potential problems get worked out. And sometimes you feel that you don’t have any control of these situations, but you really do and it is that you are not aware of it on a conscious level, so how much control that you do have. So, what we are saying to you here is that there are ways to deal with your emotions. Now, I think it is more practical especially if you are in a relationship that these things, shall we say are exposed a little more when one is not in a relationship. Maybe it would be a good idea to evaluate your past relationships and not look at those past relationships to see if it can tell you about yourself. I don’t want you to dwell on it and be saturated with the past. I think that you should utilize some of the lessons of the past. This is what I think, this is what belongs to me or that belongs to me or if you feel that is too detrimental to you, you can actually have many relationships which I am sure that you would enjoy.
ROBERT: To experience the things of the present.
JONATHAN: It may be at this time to be more practical for you to look at the past. But I don’t want you to get involved with shall we say, non-enlightened beings. It sort of deter you from your experiences by which it is the process in which we are trying to accomplish.
ROBERT: I don’t think that it is possible anymore to do that! Or not for long! Well! There is one theme that emotionally came up again, came up with Cynthia again. It is related to the little child. I looked at the child today in the meditation, he got a little older and bigger. But it seems in the past, I let people, not physically but do what they wanted like I didn’t have the right to be angry, or I didn’t know or how to fight back or something. It is just that I am feeling empty, sad and vulnerable. I have been waiting for someone else to help me or protect me. I now I have to do it! The whole area has been missing because it is like that the whole area of expressing anger or something of being weird when I did the meditation today. I was thinking of a situation that I told John about the dance teacher and it is clear that he was attracted to Cynthia and wanted to get together with her. And he and I are supposed to be friends and so the more I think about , the more angry that I got but impression wise was that pictured like a little kid and I surrounded the little kid with protection. I got the physical sensation when the kid grew a book one and I felt good.
JONATHAN: What is the whole thing?
ROBERT: It is abut the emotion of anger and protecting myself and knowing when to be angry, instead of letting people walk.
JONATHAN: What’s made? Let’s talk about this! What really makes you angry is your inability to ascertain the situation at this time. So, what are we talking about here as you grow up. What we are talking about is the retardation of energy which can happen because of pressures or because of influences during childhood. And you have to get over this; some people take longer than others because they are afraid of the unknown. What we ae saying here to you as you see this child rowing up within yourself and this is within yourself, now this is within yourself, the emotional aspects of yourself have been maturated as they should have. And you are not alone in this area, there are many in this, but we will not get into that. But what we are saying here that the more you evaluate yourself and deal with yourself the more you see yourself, the more you shed light on yourself, you are going to be exposing many, many elements within yourself. As you do this, you have been to unaware of the many parts of yourself that need attention and in your case this is one of the primary ones, the emotional parts of yourself and what we are saying here is you have to deal with the situation. What you have done in the past is that you have not dealt with the situation. You have ignored it or you have let things go and let things ride and what you have to do is ride. By getting in touch with yourself in the moment, the situation rises and deal with the ramification of the situation and put the energy there and the situation wouldn’t occur! The situation occurred because you wanted it to occur! Let us go back to the ramification of this person that was doing it and Cynthia! It occurred because you wanted it to occur, not because you wanted it to occur but deep down you wanted it to occur, you wanted to slap yourself. Let’s talk about this! You see you’re attracting that energy. You are caught by your own insecurity! We are not saying that the person didn’t cooperate with you, but the person did cooperate with you, giving the material for the situation to occur. But deep down if this person wasn’t available and cooperate, some other person would cooperate. So, what we are saying here is that you needed the confrontation, you were unwilling to have the confrontation. What we are saying to you is that you are attracted by your own energy. You attract this stuff! You create this stuff! You create the situation! So, let us go back to this whole point here! Before one gets angry dealing with other people, one has to get angry with oneself! One has to see if you are creating the situation, you can! What you should save done with the Cynthia confrontation is drew the love which you didn’t do! First of all, let us describe two elements here! The first element is on the material level; you didn’t deal with the situation! You should have called this person aside; I think it is very inappropriate to do this. That is dealing with it. But that isn’t the solution, that isn’t going to cure your problem! Because if you were more secure inside you would not generate that energy for that to happen! So, the problem is within you! So, even though you don’t desal with the energy, but deal with the internal, what is more important? So, what we are saying here is what you have to do is go down inside yourself and prevent the insecurity from surfacing. Dealing with it and becoming more secure, developing that little child and bring him up a few years. So, you have that security within you. So, that you don’t have that feeling that you need protection. A child that doesn’t need the protection should be able to protect itself and does this by growing up! As you grow up within yourself and you will not attract the insecurity! You will not attract the situation when you have to deal with it because you are creating it! And the more positive energy that you put inside yourself, the less negativity that you are going to have. And so, I think it will be useless to vet one’s frustration on while you maintain this child kingdom within you. You have to remove that; you have to deal with the stuff inside of yourself. You need to bring light and bring that security that you need inside of yourself. You have to be more open to oneself, you have to love oneself more than you have to get rid of this childhood paraphernalia. This is what we are talking about!
ROBERT: I can really feel it in there! I can feel it al the time. It is a real powerful ding-a-ling going on!
JONATHAN: It hurts us all the time! We all have that! It is something that we really have to deal with it!
ROBERT: I was even facilitating even with the situation even acknowledging that it wasn’t appropriate! He was a jerk to have done that! And I have to confess to myself that he really did that and that was wrong!
JONATHAN: You created it and he is cooperating with your creation. It was beneficial to both of you. And he got his problems worked out too! And whether he knew or not he was manifesting your desires. You desired to have the confrontation. The situation that developed you got yourself to engage in an emotional area and gave him on!
ROBERT: What is it that he was working on!
JONATHAN: I don’t think that is appropriate!
ROBERT: I kind of know anyway! And I am going to straighten it out externally, anyway!
JONATHAN: I think that the idea that you should voice your concern about the situation. Now he has his problems too! And he has to deal with them himself on his own insecurities because on his end he has to deal with his own insecurities as well. And what we are saying here, since he is not here. I don’t think it is appropriate to address his personal stuff! And anybody else and what I am saying is that you have two individuals that have a situation in which they are dealing with their own emotional problems, and these are servicing so that they are both cooperating with you, and he is cooperating with you. And you both are feeding into the energy creating the situation. I think that you are right on an external level that you have to address it and don’t leave it there and in other words say that I have an experience on an external level and you have to go internally because that is the cause of it. If you have a fever that is causing the disease, you don’t just treat the temperature, you find out what the disease is! It is the same as here!
ROBERT: That one is so deep with me!
JONATHAN: And from the situation emotionally you were so concerned about that you invented it several times. You were concerned about the situation, and it is sort of hard in your inners, but the main thing is your anger at that which you haven’t recognized. You are angry with yourself! You are angry with yourself more than you are at him! You are really pissed off at yourself!
ROBERT: I never thought of it that way! Which is pissing me off!
JONATHAN: Don’t try----








